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My primary fantasy
I learned a few years ago from a sexologist that men usually have a primary fantasy they need in order to function sexually.
If their primary fantasy is absent from their lives, they will not be able to have erections or to ejaculate. Some men have really elaborate fantasies which involve complex scenarios while others have fetishes which may include foot fetishes or latex clothing, etc…
What was explained to me is that before we become enlightened as to what sex is, our brain has often already recorded images which we see as erotic or sensual despite not having masturbated yet. A man with a latex clothing fantasy might not be able to have an erection if his partner (or him depending on the fantasy) doesn’t wear latex.
It’s not something he would be able to change. It’s not a whim. It’s an actual need. Something he cannot function sexually without. A woman cannot simply give it to him 50% of the time hoping she is doing enough for him and that he will understand and let her avoid it the remaining 50%. He needs it all of the time.
Sure, he might from time to time function without it by imagining its there, but not if it’s not present enough.
For a large portion of men, that primary fantasy is compatible with regular sex. It might be kissing prior or while having sex. It might be a fantasy on penetrating a women or ejaculating inside of her. It might be holding hands or sucking her breasts.
In many cases, it might be so connected to their sex making that the couple do not even realize that it’s present until something occurs and the men no longer functions. Secondary fantasies will no longer even excite him.
If the man doesn’t know what his fantasy is exactly, it can take years of experimentation until one day, the couple finds what was missing.
In my own case, I discovered by accident that my primary fantasy is female nudity, all because of a foot wart.
In most instances, my primary fantasy is connected to sex making: you usually undress before having sex. But not always.
So, back to the foot wart. I’ve always showered or bathed with my wife. It’s something we share. When a massive wart appeared on my foot, this shared bathing was discontinued for the period of 3 years it took to get rid of it. Yes, 3 years.
During those 3 years, I had rough patches during which I suffered from delayed ejaculation: I no longer climaxed.
In the summer, I didn’t have a lot of problems, In the winter, it was worst. What was the difference you ask ?
In the winter, the coldness made us have sex under the covers meaning I could spend weeks without seeing my wife naked long enough to refresh my image of her beautiful body in my mind.
In the summer, it wasn’t an issue because she wasn’t cold.
As soon as the wart was cured and our shared baths resumed, the problem disappeared.
So, do you sometimes wonder why so many of my female characters spend a lot of time naked ? Now you know. It’s my own fetish. My primary fantasy.
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