What happened to the buffer ?

Filed: Blog @ 5:32am on September 18, 2010 No comments yet! :(   Word Count: 558

In the month of September and August, I was hyper-active and frequently wrote more than 5 stories per week.

Considering I had already 2 days per week written (Wednesday and Fridays), this meant I managed to build a sizable buffer.

In September, I posted on Reddit one of the Suzy and Jill chapters which I liked a lot and was torn apart by a user who basically explained everything that was wrong in my writing.

I used to think I wouldn’t mind the critics because I am in effect publishing for my own pleasure and for the goal of improving myself.

But the truth was that this critic was spot on. He listed everything that was broken in my writing and every time I sat down to write a new chapter, his comments would echo in my mind prompting me to do better.

Every phrase that I wrote was over-analyzed and eventually, every chapter abandoned.

Thursday’s chapter of Cathy, called Frisbee, wasn’t planned for this week. We were supposed to be getting the “Acceptance” chapter of Sylvana, which would have put the current storyline to rest, allowing me to start Olivia and possibly remove Sylvana from the schedule.

Since July, I had been able to write almost non-stop every time I would sit down to write often writing a chapter of 1000 words in less than 2 hours. Since his comment, Acceptance only grew by about 200 words which took me over 8 hours to write, spread over a full calendar week.

And in my opinion, they are in no way superior to anything else I have written in the past. The only difference is that now, I am more conscious of my shortcomings as an author of erotic fiction.

Now I know what I am doing wrong. I am just not able to overcome it while keeping my schedule.

In the past few weeks, I had my buffer to comfort me, but I cannot hide anymore. I had at least 2 chapters to write for next week, if I publish Wednesday the first chapter of Cindy and the second chapter of Helen, neither of which I am really happy with.

I have strong ideas for all 3 stories scheduled for Monday and to my surprise, I even managed to write a second Lucy chapter. The new story “Olivia” turned out also easy to write, as it is an introduction, so next week should be fine.

But I don’t know for the future weeks. I guess my own ego is seriously broken and I will need to kick my own ass to get in gear. Just because my writing isn’t perfect doesn’t mean I need to stop trying.

I used to only be a short story writer. I wrote over 100 relatively good non-erotic short stories. My first serious attempts at long-stories have been for erotic stories, and I think I succeeded in at least extending them and creating an interesting narrative, even if individual chapters aren’t that great.

The words themselves might suck and the sexual scenes might be ordinary, but at least, I am writing and that’s what counts.

If you are reading this, thank you for your loyalty. I see that I have a lot of followers from the stats, but I don’t get comments or at least, not a lot. If you still believe in me, why don’t you give me a shout in a comment ?

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