Sam Chapter 10: Confessions

Filed: Sam @ 5:20am on January 17, 2011 No comments yet! :(   Word Count: 1,096
This entry is part 10 of 20 in the series Sam

Within seconds, Julie had locked lips with mine. It was the first time since I had changed that I would have one on one time with someone sexually and I was glad it would be with Julie.

Anna had been my first love. She is probably the girl I loved the most my entire life up until this point. If it weren’t for Julie, there is a good chance Anna and I would have never parted.

But I am not sure I ever truly loved Julie. I lusted for her, I desired her, I wanted to fuck her brains out, but I never connected enough with her emotionally to keep her as my girlfriend for a long time.

I remember thinking that in a perfect life, Anna would be my loving wife and Julie would be my always ready mistress.

Except I had never really understood Julie. She wasn’t distant from me, she was distant from my manhood.

Perhaps now, I would be able to truly explore our mutual feelings and get closer to the hottest girl in bed I ever slept with.

With retrospect, perhaps she was just trying to compensate for her lack of attraction to my body. Perhaps she simply wasn’t inhibited toward a man because she didn’t care so much about us.

In all cases, I would use this opportunity set before me to try and make things better.

Even thought I was lost in my thoughts, Julie was fully concentrated on her objective: having sex with me.

When I felt her inserting her hands under my blouse to touch more of my skin I pulled away.

“Wait Julie. We need to talk first…”

“Oh oh… does that mean I won’t get to fuck you ?”, while only trying harder to undress me.

“No, I just need to talk to you first. Thought I am not sure you’ll like what I have to say”

“Are you breaking up with me ?”

“Julie, did you ever understand why you were attracted to me even if you were a lesbian ?”

“No”, she looked puzzled. I, on the other hand, must have looked very nervous.

“Some days, I think I have magic powers of persuasions. Everything seems just too easy for me. If I want something from someone, I usually get it. I wanted to date Anna and she agreed even if she barely knew me. Then, I wanted to be with you and not only did you agree despite being gay but Anna accepted that I dumped her without even crying. I dumped you twice Julie, did you ever feel rejected ?”

She began thinking it over but didn’t say anything.

“I don’t think you did. I think that for some reason, when I try to convince someone of something, like when I flirt with a girl to date her or when on the other hand, I tell her we would be better apart, nobody seems to be able to contradict me.”

“Are you saying you manipulated Anna and I ?”

“No, don’t get me wrong… I wasn’t doing it consciously. In fact, if it wasn’t for my sudden change of gender, I would have never thought about it. I was always honest with you and Anna. But honesty alone shouldn’t have worked. When you dump a girl, she usually doesn’t just stays friend. And she usually doesn’t agree to have a threesome with your new girlfriend.”

“But I really wanted to. I am sure it’s just in your head. I really love you Sam…”

There was no way to get to this girl, my powers were too strong. Perhaps I could try a little demonstration.

“I guess. Maybe I am just afraid of losing you.”

“I would never go away”

“I know, would you agree to have a tattoo with my name on it on my arm to show me you love me ?”

“Oh Sam, that’s a wonderful idea. Maybe your name in a heart ? On which arm do you think it would be best”, she replied, while looking at her arms, trying to figure out if it was better on the left or the right.

“Julie, listen to me very carefully. Teenage girls in high school do not get tattoos of girls they date. It’s not normal. You shouldn’t have accepted this. I am sure you only did it because of my powers of persuasions. If I hinted you get your
clit pierced, you would probably jump up at the idea even if I know you don’t like piercings”

Julie had a weird look on her face.

“You were seriously considering the piercing, right ?”

“Right. I guess it’s true. You have weird magical powers. Oh my God!”, she looked devastated. “Has all my time with you been a lie…”

“Julie, I am so sorry. If I had known, I would have stayed away from, well, everybody. I really do love you as much as I love Anna. I really want to date you two and last night was incredible for me. But I guess we’ll never know if you two really love me or it’s just my powers working”

I tried to scan Julie’s body language to get an idea of her thoughts, but she just stayed motionless for a few minutes. I decided to wait for her.

“I think it was indeed a lie. I never liked boys and when you weren’t dating me I would ask myself why I agreed to do so with you and yet, each time you showed your face my heart would melt and I would run back into your arms not really understanding why. Anna however, never stopped loving you. Often, when we would have sex, she would scream your name but never mine. She couldn’t date another boy out of fear of betraying her love for you but since I also dated you, I seemed safe.”

“Wow. I am so sorry. I guess I’ve made terrible mistakes. I had no idea I had this effect. I just thought I was very lucky and now I am a monster”

“You are not a monster. It’s not your fault.”

“Will you two ever forgive me ?”

“I already forgave you in my heart”

“Yeah, but is it my powers again or is it a true forgiveness ?”

“It sounds true enough. Now, can we have sex ?”

Whether I liked it or not, having my powers was great if I ever managed to get away from my guilt and enjoy myself. I just had to restrain myself from now on: I broke two girls I loved, I now had to take care of them.

But, would Anna have the same problems with her sexual orientation as Julie had ? Now that I was a girl, would I be able to make her happy ?

Series Navigation«Sam Chapter 9: DialogSam Chapter 11: Twosome»

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