Lizzie Chapter 21: Roommate talk

Filed: Lizzie @ 6:00am on May 25, 2011 No comments yet! :(   Word Count: 949
This entry is part 22 of 31 in the series Lizzie

I was restless after Tim left.

I knew that it was what Tim wanted, but for me, sex wasn’t just about my own pleasure, it was also for my partner’s sake. Afterwards, I felt like I was useless, that my body wasn’t interesting enough to want to fuck.

The next morning or even just a few hours ago, the mood always passed and I felt happy having a devoted man utterly trapped under my spell, but I guessed I needed from time to time to feel someone climax under my effect.

Maybe I could borrow Greg from time to time, or better yet, Greg and Stephanie. Hum, that could be sexy. No chastity, no BDSM, just the three of us having sex for the fun of it.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Kylie returned and my mood quickly changed. That girl could be depressingly puritan sometimes.

“So, you’re done with your slave for the night”, she said in a harsh judgemental tone.

“Why do you judge so much Kylie? What Tim and I do concerns just the two of us. I mean, if we are having fun, what’s the harm?”

“What’s the harm? Heartless sex isn’t just having fun. There’s consequences to fooling around”

“Oh yeah, like what. Tell me please. We use protection and in the last few years, all of the STDs got a cure, sometimes and expensive one, but in the rare cases a condom breaks, your life isn’t always over”

“Please, as if STDs were the only problem”

“Well, what is it? Do you think I’ll go to hell because of pre-marital sex? If so, I’ve got news for you, your initiation and your sealing to me are just as sinful for Christians”

“No, come one, I am not a right-wing conservative.”

“Then what’s the problem. Why do you care if I have sex while in college. If you’re jealous and want in, tell me. If you want help to find a boy of your own, tell me and I’ll help you. But I can’t stand it to have you use the high moral ground when it brings me joy. And don’t tell me you don’t have sex, because I know it’s a lie”

“Hey, the only times I touched someone else since I came to college was for the society‚Ķ”

“You know, self-love is sex too. Just because you are very quiet when you masturbate doesn’t mean I never realize you do it. ”

“Oh, you are insulting. What I do in my bed is my own business.”

“And what I do in mine is also my own business. Stop judging me Kylie. Would you like it if every time I heard you masturbate I sighed judgementally and broke your mood? I don’t think so. Why do you need to try and make me feel guilty for what I am doing? When I am not asleep and I understand you are masturbating, I pretend to be asleep as much as I can to not bother you. I try not to move even if I have a cramp, so you can have some joy in your life. I sign in a song in my head to try and not have sexual thoughts in my head to respect your privacy. Why can’t you return the favor to me?”

Kylie was blushing and seemed on the verge of sobbing.

The first few words were inaudible, but she eventually apologized for her judgemental attitude.

“My father left us to be with his mistress when I was a kid. I never saw him again because they moved too far away. My mom got alimony from time to time for a few years and then it stopped. His fooling around destroyed my family. The only reason I was able to get in college is because my grandma had a good life insurance policy and she died while I was a senior.”

I sat next to her and I comforted her.

“I understand. But it wasn’t his fooling around which destroyed your family”

“Oh no? What was it?”

“There must have been something broken in your parent’s couple. Something which wasn’t working. Maybe your father never loved your mother and only stayed when you were a kid. Maybe your mother never really loved your father and he felt rejected until this other woman came around. Maybe they were just swallowed by their problems and they slowly grew apart. The cheating was most likely a pressure valve to help him survive, otherwise he would have stick around.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. When my parents got divorced, my father did everything he could to take care of my brother and I. I later learned they had broken up only because they had been submerged by financial problems. My father found a new girlfriend in the mean time, but he didn’t leave for the sex. I think they rarely do. The marriage breaks apart because of pressure inside of it. In my parent’s case, the problems were external, so I was lucky enough that when the problems disappeared they got back together, stronger than ever now that they survived. Maybe with your parents, the problems were internal”

“Yeah, maybe. But your father still broke-up with his girlfriend, so it’s like love cannot continue”

“No, they didn’t broke up.”

“You said your parents got back together?”

“Yeah, it’s complicated. My parent’s don’t actually form a couple anymore. They’re more of a trio. My father, my mother and Jill, my father’s girlfriend from the time of the separation”

“And it works out?”

“Ten years and counting‚Ķ”

“No wonder you are so open with sexuality”

“Well kid, with your background, I can understand why you are closed to it. But trust me, what breaks a couple is never just the sex. Maybe that’s what your mother says, but I doubt it’s the case.”

“Thanks for the talk Lizzie.”

“Anytime roomie. Anytime”

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