Suzy and Jill Chapter 23: Windows

Filed: Suzy and Jill @ 5:51am on September 28, 2010 No comments yet! :(   Word Count: 740
This entry is part 23 of 39 in the series Suzy and Jill

Life is a series of windows. Nothing seems to stick.

A few years ago, I had a blooming company with a dozen of employees. After almost declaring bankruptcy, I now run a much smaller operation with only 1 employee.

A few years ago, I was in a happy marriage with two young kids, still hopeful of having a classic conventional family. After almost divorcing and living in a small apartment with a new girlfriend, I was back with my wife while still having my girlfriend.

If my previous life was only fleeting, would my current life also be only temporary? How could I know if having both of the women in my life be a new permanent change or if in a few months I would be only dating one of them. Worse, what if I was once again alone, without both Suzy and Jill?

Right now, it was easy to tell Jill that if the arrangement broke, I would leave Suzy and remain with her but what about in two months? In two years?

I could barely see what would occur every evening. I frequently wake up in the morning wondering if my current life is only a dream or if I am really the lucky man I believed I had become.

The one thing I didn’t have in my new life that I believed I used to have was certainty. 3 years ago, my place was at my business and next to my wife.

These days, was I making the right choices ?

All I knew however, was that this morning, I was right where I wanted to be, even if it meant closing forever another window.

This morning, I was getting a vasectomy, leaving any chances I would ever become a parent again behind.

The official reason was to eliminate condoms and make our sex life more interesting. But in reality, the one thing that it strongly echoes in my mind was that from now on, it would be easier to close further windows.

Imagine my life does breakup and both Suzy and Jill leave me. I would be back where I was about a year ago. Single. Alone. With a pension to pay for my two wonderful kids.

Depressing, but not desperate.

If Jill became pregnant however, my life would be a new level of hell. I would have two sets of kids to feed. Two different women to satisfy with custody arrangements.

And a whole lot of explaining to do to any future girlfriends or even just to my immediate family.

Now, imagine both women being pregnant at the same time and instead of seeing two new wonderful kids to raise all I can see is future pain and trouble.

Depressing. Jump off the bridge level of desperation.

Jill didn’t want kids for the moment, Suzy either. It was time to act on the current window and just close the door forever. If a biological clock ever made them change their minds, I would be safe for future complications.

But of course, my life didn’t have a dark cloud over it at the moment. Sure, there had been some adjustments in the past but at the current moment all was running like clockwork.

I was in a very nice window and I intended to make it last.

To help, I mentally made a list of nicknames.

I had called Suzy “honey” recently and decided to apply “sugar” to Jill. “Dear” could easily apply to both of them because it was rather impersonal.

“Cutie” and “Angel” seemed appropriate for Jill and I had never used either with Suzy in the past. “Darling” had been used in my wedding vows and remained with Suzy just as “Sweetie”, which I had used a lot when we were first dating.

I decided to steer away from “Babe” and “Muffin” because I didn’t feel comfortable assigning them to one of the girls.

In the end, I put “Queen” for Suzy and “Princess” for Jill, but also made a note to not really use either.

So much work ! With only one girl, you simply come up with whatever comes to your mind but if I managed to avoid calling both girls the same way, I just might avoid future trouble.

I was just about finished updating my smartphone when I heard my name. I saw every other man was accompanied by his wife and I regretted deciding to come alone to the clinic because of the lack of moral support but didn’t want to share this with just one of the two and ended up alone.

Series Navigation«Suzy and Jill Chapter 22: CaughtSuzy and Jill Chapter 24: Resting»

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